Tuesday, March 5, 2013

One Year Old

 Roxas is a year old. We survived one whole year keeping him happy and healthy. It's gone by so incredibly fast. It seems like it's only been a month since we brought him home. There has been so much that has changed, and he has grown so very much in this past year.
      Looking back on what was happening a year ago today is somewhat surreal. I don't honestly remember a lot of my labor but I know for the most part I spent today squeezing the ever loving out of Kenny's hand, trying not to be "that lady" who screams through labor, and praying very very very hard that it would be over soon. It was one of the best days of my life though and I would re-do it all again in a heartbeat. That whole "forgetting labor" thing is definitely a protective mechanism for moms. If we could really vividly remember the whole thing...I doubt we'd have more than one kid.

     Watching Roxas grow and change over the past year has been the most exciting, educating and exhilarating part of our lives so far. I have a video of him that I kept up from the time he was about a month old all the way until a few days ago. I finally got to watch it and I had completely forgotten how small, helpless and needy he was. Granted, he is still those things but not quite as much. To see him just hold his head up was a huge milestone, or roll over. Now he stands by himself, says a ton of different words and is working on four new teeth coming in.

     He isn't walking just yet, but he is standing on his own really well. He will stand and push just about anything he possibly can, even if it isn't a toy made for walking. He can stack blocks, and his rings with shocking ease compared to just a month ago. We are working on eradicating the binky and without it his vocabulary has exploded.  He is hardly ever quiet. The words he knows seem to get even clearer each day and he knows how to relate what word goes to what object/person/thing. His favorite is still "Dog" or "doggie". He is finally cutting some more teeth. I was starting to think he would have two teeth forever. All four of his top teeth are trying to come in at once. This has caused him to end up with just about every classic teething symptom in the book and I feel so bad for him being utterly miserable at times. I can't wait to see that full toothy grin! He is completely his own little person and has his definite likes vs. dislikes which he makes very obvious.

     Today is a little bit bittersweet for me. I am so excited for everything to come but I am sad to see his time as an "infant" go. As of 9:07pm he will officially be a toddler. It's not easy to reconcile that sweet, itty bitty, newborn with this adventurous and bright toddler. Another bittersweet aspect is a reminder how I never made it to my goal of breastfeeding for a year. For the most part I've been able to come to terms with this but today the wound still seems fresh and it's a painful reminder I wasn't able to do what I set out to. I'm hoping to make it the full year with Lucy, but I still grieve for the months I lost with Roxas.

     We had a great time at Roxas's baby friend, Anberlin's birthday party over the past weekend. They are only 3 days apart! Of course Roxas was cranky and grumpy the whole time but really first birthday parties are all for the parents anyways right? Since I had clinicals from 6am to 6pm today (another thing I'm a bit bummed about) I didn't get to spend a whole lot of time with my little birthday boy. We are celebrating with all our friends and family on Sunday the 10th though. I'm really excited for that, and all the great memories we will make. My parents were on Roxas duty today while I was at school and he got a little cake to celebrate his birthday on the actual day and we gave him one of his little presents tonight too. I just can't believe he is already one year old!

    I'll update after the weekend with pictures from his party and how it all went. I've been working very hard to get ahead in school and allow myself a little breathing room to get this party planned. It should be interesting!

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