Friday, March 27, 2015

19 Weeks! Happy Birthday to Me!

I can't believe it is week 19 already! The little one is half a foot long and weighs half a pound already. Today is also special since it is my birthday! This is probably the first birthday in a long time I've been excited to celebrate. I guess it's a little special since I am now halfway through my twenties. It's all downhill towards 30 now ;-)

Despite our hopes to take our first family trip to Disneyland this month we have had to postpone the trip until next year sometime. Things just didn't work out between work and we decided it was probably better to pay off some debt than go on a big trip. Being an adult sucks sometimes. We are still going to celebrate my birthday with a small trip to Vegas to see one of our favorite comedians perform and go to one of my favorite restaurants in Vegas: Gordon Ramsay. Grandma and grandpa are taking the kiddos for the night so we will finally get a little time to ourselves. Between all this being sick and working we haven't been able to go on a date in about two months!

Speaking of being sick, we are all FINALLY better! I'm still trying to shake a little bit of a cough but it's gone for the most part. The kids are finally back to their normal insanity and all it right in the world again. I am so glad to be over that and I never want to go through it ever again!

The little one is doing great and I've finally started to get some bigger popcorn like kicks but they are still very small and not super noticeable. I can't wait for Roxas and Lucy to be able to feel them. I bet they will think it's pretty darn cool. Roxas told me today my belly was too big, and I asked him why mommy's belly was so big and he informed be "mommy has a baby in her tummy!". I really like having an older kiddo who can somewhat grasp what's going on but I don't think he will really, truly, get it until the baby is here.

We will have our anatomy scan in two weeks, when we will be HALFWAY done already!!! I can't believe it. I'm excited to see the little squish looking more baby like and less like a furry jellybean. I still argue with myself over wanting to know and not wanting to know. Part of me hopes the doctor will slip and accidentally show the gender. The other half of me still gets excited to think about being surprised when the baby arrives. It's a pretty even split right now. I'm still frustrated not knowing but I like the novelty a lot too.

I have some packing to do and kids to feed so that's all for now!

Thursday, March 12, 2015

17 Weeks

Time is just flying right by and now we are getting really close to being halfway done! Only 160 days left, I can't believe it. I went to the doctor yesterday and baby is looking great. The heart rate is 153bpm and all is measuring perfectly. I still only feel little infrequent flits and flutters for now, which kind of bums me out but I know the real kicks aren't far away. I have a sneaky suspicion my placenta is anterior this time which means it's toward the front of the belly and can cushion some movements.

The belly is getting bigger and bigger. Lucy and Roxas are starting to catch on a little bit. I told Roxas there was a baby in mommy's tummy and he said "Yeah that's why it's so big! The doctor is gonna get the baby out of your tummy!" Smart kid. Lucy just points at my belly and yells "baby!".

We've finally found two names that we both like. I'm not sure they'll be the official picks but good grief just finding a single name we both like that has no ties to any friends or annoying people has been difficult at best. Just like the gender though, you have to wait until August to find out. We have our anatomic anomaly scan the first week of April and I'm excited to finally see something that looks like a baby and not just a blobby jelly bean. Hopefully my willpower can hold out through the scan because I really do want to know!

It's starting to sink in a little more that this is real. Especially having names we like, it really makes a difference.  I've been thinking about getting things ready and what stuff I need to pull out of storage a little more seriously now. I've finally found a theme I like with woodland creatures. It's a variation of the jungle animals but without the monkeys *shudder*. Of course we don't need much but I've found a few things we will splurge a little on. I know it's a little excessive to buy new things when we already have a lot of girly and boy blankets or outfits and whatnot but I firmly believe each of my kids deserve some things of their own.

The family is slowly getting better. Actually pretty much everybody else is better except me. I'm going on 3 almost 4 weeks of being sick. Now my sinusitis (thanks flu!) has caused a lovely little ear infection and is making me absolutely miserable. Unfortunately I can't get anything to help soothe the pain. It's absolutely maddening and one of the worst pains I've encountered. I can hardly swallow anything, even warm tea or cool popsicles hurt like crazy. This is problematic considering my weight is still too low for the doctor's liking. I'm supposed to have gained about 5-10 pounds by now but I've only lost even more being sick. Hopefully I can finally get back to being well sometime very soon.

Until next time...

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Roxas Turns 3!

I can't believe it. Tomorrow three years will have passed since this picture was taken. It's so interesting going back and reading my thoughts from this day three years ago.

 Three years ago I was checking and re-checking our bags, which had been packed for weeks and weeks. I remember sitting quietly in our living room and just enjoying the quiet, the calm and the clean. It's never been the same since. I remember watching the clock, waiting for it to finally be time to leave. Kenny got home and I remember the anticipation we both felt. We stood in our kitchen talking about how much things were about to change. Making remarks about how we couldn't believe it was already time. I was eating fruit snacks and feeling Roxas kicking me as we stood there, about to walk out of our house and return forever changed. 

It was a long night, and an even longer day, and then another long evening. Then he was here and we were parents. Now that little skinny old man baby is sitting next to me showing his little sister a book about to turn three years old. He has grown and learned so much already. He's full of attitude and independence, like most three year olds, and he pushes my patience to the limits. He's funny and sweet, sensitive and caring. I can't believe the change that has happened right in front of my eyes as he's turned from a lump of baby to this active and bright little human. 

In some respects it seems like a long time, with an amazing amount of things changing so quickly. Yet it also feels like it was just yesterday we were bringing our little boy home for the first time. 

I'm really sad that for his first and second birthdays I was in nursing school clinical and now this year I am having to work but those are the sacrifices I knew I may have to make when I went into this field. I wish I were able to spend his birthday with him, but we will settle for celebrating this weekend.
Happy Birthday Roxas

Monday, March 2, 2015

15 Weeks-Let's Play Ball!

Well, I'm closing out my 15th week of pregnancy! Baby is about the size of a navel orange, or if you'd prefer a non-food comparison: a baseball. Little one is growing rapidly now. I've been feeling more and more little movements. They are still a little hard for me to detect but I know them when I feel them. I love feeling the movements of that little life I'm protecting. My favorite part of second trimester is definitely feeling those first kicks and punches.

I'm still fighting off this flu. This particular bug is a viscous one. I'm still fighting off this terrible cough which gives me the worst headache. It's also caused the blood vessels in my eyes to rupture, leaving me looking like I should be walking on the set of some horror movie with bright red bloody patches on the whites of my eyes. I've most likely developed a secondary bronchitis infection (Yay!) and should probably have a doctor look at it but I'm procrastinating it. The downfall to being a nurse is I feel like I just go pay a doctor to look at me and tell me that I am indeed right and what I'm doing is the exact treatment they'd prescribe. They should be paying me. 

I may be miserable and  possibly probably dying but baby is doing great at least. I check on his or her heartbeat all the time. I'm so thankful I bought that doppler, best baby purchase ever! It gives me so much relief when I hear that little clip clop gallop. Of course it's no guarantee everything is ok but it's a pretty decent indicator. I'm still down several pounds. At my very first appointment I weighed 178lbs *shudder* and this morning I am a shockingly light 163lbs. Sadly enough that's actually less than what I weighed before getting pregnant with Roxas. Between the flu and the morning sickness I have had a pretty hard time eating enough. Thankfully my body has lots of extra fat it can tap into. Perks of being fluffy.

We are still planning on staying "Team Yellow" as in we still aren't finding out the gender of the baby until delivery day. That's not to say I'm totally at peace with it. There are many, many, MANY, moments where I am so frustrated that I can't know. I'm a little bit obsessive and I like to plan. I had both kids nurseries set up by now so not having anything set up is driving me a little bit insane. Plus I pretty much hate all gender neutral baby items. For some reason gender neutral is synonymous with jungle animals. Most jungle animals I'm ok with but it's the monkeys I really don't like. I don't know where my distaste of monkeys comes from. I just really don't like them. They steal your stuff, they fling poo at you and they bite...I just don't like em!
I also love to crochet and knit but it's a little hard not knowing whether to knit pink or blue, mickey or minnie, frilly or get the idea. I'm still a fan of the novelty though and I think I would be silly not to take advantage of our perfect situation for not knowing. After all I will never know which is better until I do both right? I have finally found a theme I think I like and it will be some variation of jungle animals: Dumbo and/or Lion king. I'm loving the Disney Baby Dumbo set as well as the Lion King set. Both are quite gender neutral with the ability to accessorize either boy or girl.

I'm also very decided that I will not be meeting with any pitocin this time (barring any serious medical issue of course!). I know, I know...I said the same thing twice before and I practically pounced on the opportunity for induction. This time I have a plan! I'm insisting Kenny accompany me to all OB appointments in the last month so that when the Doc eventually offers up the pitocin...he can smack me and tell me no. It seems my willpower starts crumbling right around 39 weeks or so and I'll almost agree to anything. Fight a lion and I'll go into labor? SURE! Climb Mt. Everest and I'll go into labor? Absolutely! Really, I'll agree to anything. So my new plan is to use somebody else willpower! Somebody else who isn't being influenced by a flood of hormones which make them notoriously unstable. I am hoping it works. I'd really, really, really, like to go through spontaneous labor for once. After March we will be halfway through the pregnancy already. It seems like it's just going so fast! It's finally sinking in that it's real, we are really going to have a newborn, a three year old and a two year old all at the same time. Then I wish I could drink a really nice glass of wine because that idea makes me wonder where I left my sanity.

This month is so full of fun stuff I can hardly contain myself. Roxas turns 3 (Say whaaaaaaa?) I turn 25 (woo) and we are finally taking our first family trip to Disneyland (WOOOO!) So much fun to come and I can't wait. Now I just need to get better!