Friday, July 29, 2011
Sure, we knew how much a baby can change things and we knew it would be hard but now we are living it and the baby won't even be here for 7 more months. Sometimes, lately I've felt a little overwhelmed at all of the stress we will be facing, and are currently facing. Last night I had terrible bad dreams and got very interrupted sleep. Needless to say I woke up in a "mood" that wasn't exactly chipper. Granted, I am not a morning person and if I am in a "mood" that seems like an angry grizzly bear just awoken in the middle of December, well that's a good mood. Babies cost money, even before they are born. That is a cold hard fact. We are facing one of the toughest financial hardships we have ever taken on and honestly...it's scary. We have had to get insurance that costs double what we were used to and then there will still be plenty of medical bills after that. The thought of "how are we going to cover all of our bills" has crossed my mind more than once lately. This morning, after roaring at the neighbors for chewing their toast too loud, I remembered one of my favorite verses, or chunks rather and went back and read it again, and again and again.
"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers- most of which are never even seen- don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.
Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." Matthew 6:30-34 (The Message)
Woah...and I've just been "served" as the rap kids would say. I'm so guilty of getting wrapped up in worrying about everything and trying to make sure everything is being taken care of that I don't let God in on any of it. It's like I'm trying to juggle chainsaws (I can't even juggle oranges) and God's just standing there going...you know...I could totally help out with that...and I just go "NO! I DO IT MYSELF!" then I suffer massive blood loss when I slip and cut off my arm. Isn't it awesome that God loves such a moronic human? It's funny how every now and then God sends us a little blessing that just says, see...just stop worrying and let me handle it, it just takes me a bit to realize where the help came from. Recently our car insurance went down and we received a check from our insurance company for back pay on premiums. For those small breaks I say "Thank You God!"
So lesson learned this morning: stop juggling chainsaws before I lose a limb. I need to focus on taking care of little munchkin and myself both physically and spiritually which to be honest I've slacked a lot on the latter. Now, yes I still have to balance our budget and write the checks to pay the bills...but now I am going to try and not worry about whether things will work out and just trust that God has got our backs and he won't let anything happen to our family. It's way more easily said that done but the best I can do is try.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
9 weeks have already flown by. I am amazed at how fast these weeks pass, it seems like just the other day we were only 6 weeks. Our little munchkin is growing fast and is now about the size of a medium olive, and has the official title of fetus! I'm considering myself very lucky since my symptoms aren't too terrible. Thankfully the sickness, and I say just sickness...not morning sickness because the guy(oh it was definitely a guy)who named it was a moron and you feel sick whether it is morning, afternoon or evening. Anyways the sickness has subsided a bit, and the fatigue is getting better. Although I still have the worst case of "baby brain" ever, I hope that means this kid will be super smart since it's taking all my brain cells!
Even though it is all bloating and water weight I've started doing pictures and will put one up every week so we can all watch the bump grow from bloat to baby. I am so excited to be able to really feel and look pregnant, right now it is hard to wrap my head around the tiny little life growing in me. It is so amazing to think about the absolute miracle going on right in my own body. I have an image in my head of a master artist molding and shaping a great piece of art. That is what I picture when I think about our baby being custom designed, if you will, by none other than the same artist who painted the mountains, or shaped the rivers. Our son or daughter is being created by the same hands that put the stars in the sky, and gives the sun it's light. It's like getting Leonardo DaVinci to paint your bedroom. I feel amazingly blessed to be able to provide a place to nurture, love and grow one of Gods' most precious creations...another human being.
Just a few verses I thought of when typing this entry today...
"Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you: A prophet to the nations— that's what I had in mind for you." Jeremiah 1:5
"When a woman gives birth, she has a hard time, there's no getting around it. But when the baby is born, there is joy in the birth. This new life in the world wipes out memory of the pain." John 16:21
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Today marks the start of our 8th week and since I can't keep a secret to save my life (on a side note never, ever tell me national secrets) we decided to notify the world of our impending addition via Facebook of course.
This week baby Stutler is the size of a large raspberry, and is starting to bust a move with tiny, spontaneous movements. Little monkey is also making his/her poor mother feel habitually hung-over which I am not all that thrilled about. It will all be worth it in the end though :-) I can't wait to see what sweet baby God hand-crafted just for us! Best present ever!!
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Today we had our first ultrasound done! We got to see our little munchkin for the first time and it was AMAZING! Thank God baby is in the right place, and so far healthy. The heartbeat was 139 beats per minute and seeing the tiny heart flutter away was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. I love this little one so much already it's ridiculous.
We won't be telling the world (aka Facebook) until we feel ready, we told our family the Sunday after we got the positive home test (and a positive blood test). Here is how we told them:
My parents: When I first got my tattoo I came over to my parents' house and asked both of them to come into the living room so I could show them something. They were surprised when I plunked my leg up on the coffee table and revealed the new ink. My mom had said she thought maybe I was going to tell them I was pregnant. So when I decided on how to reveal the big news, because I mean...I had to do something extra cool and theatrical! I remembered what my mom had said and went with it. I wrote the words "I'm Pregnant" on my other ankle in eyeliner and covered it up just like a new tattoo. We went over to their house on Sunday morning and as soon as they saw the wrap they were about ready to smack me, but I put my leg up on the table and made sure they could both see and unwrapped my ankle. After the few seconds it took to register what they were looking at, they were elated!
His parents: His mom revealed she was pregnant with him by giving his dad a stuffed bunny with a noose around it's neck. Apparently there was an old way of doing pregnancy tests that involved a rabbit and if the rabbit died...congratulations! I took a stuffed bunny, tied a little noose around it's neck and carefully wrapped it in a box. Then we took the box all wrapped up over to his parents and told them it was a late Father's Day present. When his dad unwrapped it and pulled up on the string and rabbit his face was priceless. Needless to say they were pretty happy too.
I'm absolutely dying to tell every person I come into contact with, and by the time you read this you will know, but right now...I'm about ready to scream it at random strangers!
On the morning of June 22nd I woke up anxious and excited...the previous night I had tried a cheap internet home pregnancy test and swore left, right and center that I saw a line but it was late and I've been known to see things that aren't there. However...I had an one last expensive and very sensitive test left. So I waited until morning to test again. I did another cheap test and sure enough there was the faintest of lines staring back at me. Then I did the expensive test, still thinking I was just wasting $8. After 3 minutes a very light test line showed up....
After a great deal of squealing, and crying I called my love and told him the good news...and now we are on an exciting and fun journey that is about to turn our lives upside down and inside out!