Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Cloth Diapers- My New Love

Cloth? Who Knew?

Oh dear...I've become a hippie. I don't know when it happened but it did. You know, I used to scoff at friends and even total strangers who did crazy things like wear their babies or use cloth diapers. Well call me a hypocrite because I've finally transformed, and I love it!

I have been cloth diapering Roxas for the past weeks or so and I am completely taken by it. I am still using disposables every now and then but I've already noticed that I have a clear preference for one over the other. Before actually trying it there were so many things that turned me off of them. For one it can be incredibly confusing! There are about a million (ok more like 5 or 6) types of diapers to choose from and depending on what kind you look at they can be insanely expensive. I had looked a little bit when I was pregnant but gave up rather quickly. A lot of people are grossed out by them too, but I guess I'm just not the type to get grossed out very easily since this was never an issue for me. It's another story when it comes to daddy-he isn't too hip on the baby bodily fluids thing.

 Thanks to a friend I was able to get together a decent starting out collection of cloth diapers for a little less than $200, and that was with a smidge of splurging on cute prints because...well...I needed them. With the amount of diapers I currently have I am only doing laundry every other day, and I could stretch it longer if I really wanted to. It is insanely easy too, it takes me maybe a few seconds longer to change Roxas's diaper using cloth over a disposable.

I haven't mentioned the best part though: the money! Now I'm not a "saver" or a "couponer" or a "haggler", I never got that gene from my dad (mr. dealmaker there) so saving money and cutting cost has never been my strong suit. With me leaving my job relatively soon I have been looking for any possible way to cut costs around here and going cloth has turned out to be a great savings! By combining the disposables we have from the baby showers and the cloth we have now we will never have to buy a pack of [insert disposable brand here] ever again....yeah...think about that! The average cost to diaper a kid from birth to 3 1/2 years in disposable diapers is $2,862.72. Holy cow. Truthfully I don't care much about the whole environmental aspect of cloth diapers but I DO care about the financial aspect. Did I mention we are saving nearly three THOUSAND dollars...per kid...yes please! We have, to date, spent right around $250 on diapering costs for Roxas, maybe $300 if you want to round up and estimate high. That cost is nothing when you compare it to the two thousand whatever amount I mentioned before. Even if I go nuts and spend another oh say $1000 (I could totally do it too) on cloth diapering stuff over the next year or two...We are STILL saving money! Yay! Even factoring in having multiple children in cloth...yup, you guessed it...still saving money. Actually we would be saving even more money.

Anyways I have to say I've been converted and I'm in love with the new cloth diapers. I use the disposables at night and every so often during the days. Just last night I couldn't peg what the weird smell I was detecting was...and I realized it was the disposable diaper! Now, I know what you're thinking...no, it wasn't poopy. It was just a weird smell, I can't describe it but it was odd. I've also noticed Roxas seems slightly more content in a wet cloth diaper than a wet disposable. He tends to freak out when he is a little wet in the disposable but will go quite awhile in a cloth or only fuss minimally. Now I just need to keep myself reigned in and not buy every cute little cover I see. I also don't want to put clothes on him so people can see his cute diapers now. Now I'm off to research placenta recipes...ok...so I'm not that much of a hippie...yet.

Friday, June 22, 2012

One Year

One year ago today we learned I was pregnant with Roxas. I can't believe everything that has happened in that year. I am so thankful for Roxas and I feel unbelievably blessed to be his mommy. I will forever remember that day, because on that day my biggest dream came true.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Kicked in the Pants

Yesterday was just one of those days where I felt like nothing was OK. Yesterday was one of those days where you just have to throw your hands in the air and say God...help me. I said that twice yesterday. It made me wonder how life will be with school thrown into the mix. I have a huge fear that I won't be able to handle the work or I will have a nervous breakdown or something. Just a small upset in the routine totally stressed me out. I had so many things on my to do list it was driving me insane that I wasn't getting any of them done. I know once school starts life is going to get crazy and I'm honestly scared to death. I wonder if I am going to be able to handle it all. I wonder if I am going to lose out on precious time with Roxas, time I will never get back...but I knew this was coming. When we decided to have Roxas AND continue my efforts with school I knew it was insane, I knew it would be hard, but I also know I will never be given any more than I can handle. I will always have that comfort, even when it seems like everything is falling apart I know I'm taken care of and everything will work out in the end, not always how I expect it to...but it will.

We have had family in town this weekend and Roxas got to meet his cousins and uncles and aunts for the first time. We've had a ton of fun but it's also been a bit of an upheaval for us. Now, I'm not a schedule type person but Roxas and I have settled into a little bit of a routine. With all the hubbub going on we've kind of gotten out of sync with each other. He is also cutting another tooth (I think) so that's not helping. He has been fussier than he usually is and he is also being very clingy and attached to me. I love the closeness and cuddly koala baby time but I do need to get stuff done. Today we have been kind of back to normal and I must say I feel so much more relaxed. He has been taking one awesome morning nap (going on 2 hours now) and I'm getting a ton of things done that I really needed to get done, you know important stuff like paying bills and securing my financial aid for school.
 The Stutler Family
 Roxas and his cousin- Jude

Roxas with his Aunt Kim and cousin Stella

We also celebrated my Grandma's 80th birthday this weekend. Roxas is so lucky to have his Great Grandma who loves him so, so, much!

I am so excited for the months to come, especially since a family trip to Disneyland is in the works and I may get to finally see D-Land all done up for Christmas! I can't wait to take Roxas for his first time. I hope he loves it as much as his mommy and daddy do. Things are going to get even crazier and I hope I'm ready. I have an amazing, super supportive husband by my side and family that's always willing to help me and I think that will make all the difference. So here's to new and exciting adventures!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Leap of Faith

You hear the term "Leap of Faith" and you think of doing something without the guarantee that it will turn out to be OK. Well, we are about to take a huge leap of faith and I am having to trust that somehow, someway God will keep us from going splat on the proverbial pavement.

As you may well know I was accepted into our local nursing program. I just found out what this schedule will entail and it's not an easy one. I will be in school four days a week, two of those days I will be driving an hour away and spending all day in class. That leaves me with three days in the week to complete homework, which I've heard is a nightmare, and most importantly spend time with my family. You might notice that I didn't mention work.

After working 5 wonderful years for the best boss anybody could ask for I am leaving my job to become a full time mommy and student. This choice has weighed heavy on my heart ever since finding out I was accepted. I've prayed about it and I feel very strongly that I need to focus on my family and school the most right now. I don't know what exactly will happen as a result of this choice but I know we will always be taken care of one way or another. Whenever I have worries, there is always a surefire cure: pray about it and just say "here God, I can't deal with this one..."

In other ventures that involve a little faith I have decided to try out cloth diapering. Thanks to a friend who helped streamline and simplify things for me we are going to start off small and see how things go with it. Now, I really don't care too much about all the environmental and natural hoopla that surrounds cloth diapering but I do care how cheap it can be. The initial cost really isn't too terrible and the idea of being able to use them through multiple children is really quite appealing. Plus...have you seen how CUTE they are now? I mean really...I am the type of person who will buy stuff based on how it looks and I have no problems with that- put a picture of a puppy on something and I will probably buy it. I am really excited to give this whole thing a try now that I understand it much better. I have high hopes that it will go well and I will be blogging with updates on how it goes of course. I never thought I would be the type of mom to wear her baby, cloth diaper and commit to long-term breastfeeding. Who knew?

Can't wait to start our new adventures together as we turn down a never before explored path for us and hope it doesn't dead end.

Monday, June 4, 2012

3 Months- Wow

It has been three whole months since Roxas was born and I can't believe how quickly time is flying by us. He is growing so fast sometimes I feel like I can stare at him and actually watch him growing.

I looked back at all the pictures from when he was born and I can't believe how he has gone from such a tiny little baby to a little boy. I look at him and I think about the future and how much more he will grow, it's a bittersweet thought. I finally got all of his newborn clothes put away in their storage tote. This was an emotional event for me and it was very hard putting away some of my favorite outfits of his because it very much symbolized that the newborn, itty bitty baby phase is coming to a close. It reminded me of how much he has changed in 3 little months and how much he will change in those to come. I shed a couple tears as I folded his coming home outfit and placed it on top of the rest and snapped the plastic lid on, sealing up some of my favorite memories.

As if that wasn't enough of a reminder that he is growing up, he officially has his first tooth! Most babies don't start getting teeth until around 6 months to a year old. I guess we just got lucky with him. Having a teething 2 month old is pretty miserable. It's an awful feeling seeing him upset and in pain when there is very little I can do to help. We have a large supply of baby orajel on hand as well as a couple of teething toys he likes. One of the downsides to his early tooth is how he can't hold onto and chew on his toys by himself very well so I have to hold them for him. Now that the little tooth is about a quarter of the way out it seems some of the pain has subsided. I am not looking forward to the rest of them coming in. I will miss seeing his gummy grin and I actually feel a little cheated that I only got to enjoy it for a few months.
And here is that little troublemaker tooth.

We have settled into something like a routine. He takes two or three naps during the day for a couple hours, which is usually when I frantically try to get all of my chores done and then we are up every two hours at night like clockwork. While I would love to get a little more uninterrupted sleep, I have no intentions of trying to sleep train him right now. Truthfully, I kind of like our late night feedings and cuddles and I know someday he won't need me in the middle of the night anymore. During the time he is awake he is usually a ton of fun, smiling and playing all the time. He is learning new skills all the time and it is always amazing watching the new developments he makes each day. He still hasn't rolled over completely but he gets from his back to his side and almost onto his tummy. He is also talking and babbling away now. I think he actually laughed the other night, but I'm not calling it until I'm sure. He loves being talked to and played with the most. We have had a few days that test my patience and ability to remain calm but either I'm getting better at handling it or he is getting better. 

I have officially returned to work and it has been going pretty well. I only work 4 hours at a time and only 3 days a week so it's not quite as bad as some jobs. I've got to say kudos to those women who return to a full time job only a few weeks after having a baby! I completely underestimated how much I would not want to leave him during these first few months. The first time I went to work daddy got to watch him and things went well, much to my relief. I however didn't do quite as well. I shed a few tears as I left and I spent all day thinking about him. I have been back for about 2 weeks now and it is getting a little bit easier but I still don't like it. Truthfully I am not sure what my work career will be looking like in the next few months to come since.....I was finally excepted into the nursing program.

I had previously gotten another rejection letter in April saying I wasn't accepted but I was one of 8 alternates. Never did I think I would actually get in as an alternate. When I got the letter I was shocked. My classes start in the middle of August and I will have to be traveling an hour away to another town for the classes and labs but it is absolutely worth it. I can't wait to finally be back in the medical world. I'm not sure how I will cope with being away from Roxas during school, but I know we will find a way to work it out. I have heard how tough and time consuming this program can be and truthfully I am a little terrified of it. I am so afraid of flunking out after all of this hard work I have put into getting in to this program. I also don't want to sacrifice my time with Roxas either. This is one reason I am not sure what my working situation is going to be like. It is something I will be praying about and I hope I pick the right choice for myself and my family. Right now I am just trying to enjoy Roxas as much as I can and love up every second I can. 

So right now it's all about just living life as best as I can and not missing a single moment that I don't have to. It is so true when people say how fast their kids grow up. It's really going by way to fast for me and I am excited for the future but sad to see the time pass so fast. 
I could stare at him sleeping all day long