Monday, June 4, 2012

3 Months- Wow

It has been three whole months since Roxas was born and I can't believe how quickly time is flying by us. He is growing so fast sometimes I feel like I can stare at him and actually watch him growing.

I looked back at all the pictures from when he was born and I can't believe how he has gone from such a tiny little baby to a little boy. I look at him and I think about the future and how much more he will grow, it's a bittersweet thought. I finally got all of his newborn clothes put away in their storage tote. This was an emotional event for me and it was very hard putting away some of my favorite outfits of his because it very much symbolized that the newborn, itty bitty baby phase is coming to a close. It reminded me of how much he has changed in 3 little months and how much he will change in those to come. I shed a couple tears as I folded his coming home outfit and placed it on top of the rest and snapped the plastic lid on, sealing up some of my favorite memories.

As if that wasn't enough of a reminder that he is growing up, he officially has his first tooth! Most babies don't start getting teeth until around 6 months to a year old. I guess we just got lucky with him. Having a teething 2 month old is pretty miserable. It's an awful feeling seeing him upset and in pain when there is very little I can do to help. We have a large supply of baby orajel on hand as well as a couple of teething toys he likes. One of the downsides to his early tooth is how he can't hold onto and chew on his toys by himself very well so I have to hold them for him. Now that the little tooth is about a quarter of the way out it seems some of the pain has subsided. I am not looking forward to the rest of them coming in. I will miss seeing his gummy grin and I actually feel a little cheated that I only got to enjoy it for a few months.
And here is that little troublemaker tooth.

We have settled into something like a routine. He takes two or three naps during the day for a couple hours, which is usually when I frantically try to get all of my chores done and then we are up every two hours at night like clockwork. While I would love to get a little more uninterrupted sleep, I have no intentions of trying to sleep train him right now. Truthfully, I kind of like our late night feedings and cuddles and I know someday he won't need me in the middle of the night anymore. During the time he is awake he is usually a ton of fun, smiling and playing all the time. He is learning new skills all the time and it is always amazing watching the new developments he makes each day. He still hasn't rolled over completely but he gets from his back to his side and almost onto his tummy. He is also talking and babbling away now. I think he actually laughed the other night, but I'm not calling it until I'm sure. He loves being talked to and played with the most. We have had a few days that test my patience and ability to remain calm but either I'm getting better at handling it or he is getting better. 

I have officially returned to work and it has been going pretty well. I only work 4 hours at a time and only 3 days a week so it's not quite as bad as some jobs. I've got to say kudos to those women who return to a full time job only a few weeks after having a baby! I completely underestimated how much I would not want to leave him during these first few months. The first time I went to work daddy got to watch him and things went well, much to my relief. I however didn't do quite as well. I shed a few tears as I left and I spent all day thinking about him. I have been back for about 2 weeks now and it is getting a little bit easier but I still don't like it. Truthfully I am not sure what my work career will be looking like in the next few months to come since.....I was finally excepted into the nursing program.

I had previously gotten another rejection letter in April saying I wasn't accepted but I was one of 8 alternates. Never did I think I would actually get in as an alternate. When I got the letter I was shocked. My classes start in the middle of August and I will have to be traveling an hour away to another town for the classes and labs but it is absolutely worth it. I can't wait to finally be back in the medical world. I'm not sure how I will cope with being away from Roxas during school, but I know we will find a way to work it out. I have heard how tough and time consuming this program can be and truthfully I am a little terrified of it. I am so afraid of flunking out after all of this hard work I have put into getting in to this program. I also don't want to sacrifice my time with Roxas either. This is one reason I am not sure what my working situation is going to be like. It is something I will be praying about and I hope I pick the right choice for myself and my family. Right now I am just trying to enjoy Roxas as much as I can and love up every second I can. 

So right now it's all about just living life as best as I can and not missing a single moment that I don't have to. It is so true when people say how fast their kids grow up. It's really going by way to fast for me and I am excited for the future but sad to see the time pass so fast. 
I could stare at him sleeping all day long

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