Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Kicked in the Pants

Yesterday was just one of those days where I felt like nothing was OK. Yesterday was one of those days where you just have to throw your hands in the air and say God...help me. I said that twice yesterday. It made me wonder how life will be with school thrown into the mix. I have a huge fear that I won't be able to handle the work or I will have a nervous breakdown or something. Just a small upset in the routine totally stressed me out. I had so many things on my to do list it was driving me insane that I wasn't getting any of them done. I know once school starts life is going to get crazy and I'm honestly scared to death. I wonder if I am going to be able to handle it all. I wonder if I am going to lose out on precious time with Roxas, time I will never get back...but I knew this was coming. When we decided to have Roxas AND continue my efforts with school I knew it was insane, I knew it would be hard, but I also know I will never be given any more than I can handle. I will always have that comfort, even when it seems like everything is falling apart I know I'm taken care of and everything will work out in the end, not always how I expect it to...but it will.

We have had family in town this weekend and Roxas got to meet his cousins and uncles and aunts for the first time. We've had a ton of fun but it's also been a bit of an upheaval for us. Now, I'm not a schedule type person but Roxas and I have settled into a little bit of a routine. With all the hubbub going on we've kind of gotten out of sync with each other. He is also cutting another tooth (I think) so that's not helping. He has been fussier than he usually is and he is also being very clingy and attached to me. I love the closeness and cuddly koala baby time but I do need to get stuff done. Today we have been kind of back to normal and I must say I feel so much more relaxed. He has been taking one awesome morning nap (going on 2 hours now) and I'm getting a ton of things done that I really needed to get done, you know important stuff like paying bills and securing my financial aid for school.
 The Stutler Family
 Roxas and his cousin- Jude

Roxas with his Aunt Kim and cousin Stella

We also celebrated my Grandma's 80th birthday this weekend. Roxas is so lucky to have his Great Grandma who loves him so, so, much!

I am so excited for the months to come, especially since a family trip to Disneyland is in the works and I may get to finally see D-Land all done up for Christmas! I can't wait to take Roxas for his first time. I hope he loves it as much as his mommy and daddy do. Things are going to get even crazier and I hope I'm ready. I have an amazing, super supportive husband by my side and family that's always willing to help me and I think that will make all the difference. So here's to new and exciting adventures!

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