Monday, December 19, 2011

Things I knew about...but didn't think would happen

So I try really hard not to whine...but darn it I feel like whining right now and I'm going to! I read a lot of lists like "Things they don't tell you about being pregnant" or "Things they don't tell you about childbirth". I assume I now know everything that the mysterious group of "They" don't want me to know. I always read these types of lists and thought to myself, "Sure, that happens to like 3% of women probably...that will never happen to me." Well I'm making my own stupid list, all about the stuff I never thought would happen but did.

1. Not being able to do things, even though I want to.
I'm rather independent, and stubborn. Not a good mix when pregnant. I typically operated under the "I'll just do it myself" motto. Whether it meant laying down the fake grass in the backyard or rearranging the living room furniture. I would just do it because, well, I wanted to. Before getting pregnant I just assumed all pregnant women were being wimps and I would carry on as if nothing was going on. Now I am learning that I have serious physical limitations. I still try, oh yes I still try. Most of the time I am met with defeat though. I can't walk very fast just because I get out of breath easily, and I can't get up off the ground without help. I have actually gotten stuck in a few places for a moment or two, makes you feel rather silly.

2. Weird things with your body!
I've heard all kinds of oddball things happen to your body when pregnant but surely they wouldn't happen to me...right? Wrong. Turns out my body hates me now and it's attempting to drive me to the nut house. I have little spider veins on my legs, an interesting "V" shaped stretch mark above my bellybutton which itches like crazy, cankles that look like a decomposing body, acne from head to toe, greasy yucky hair no matter how often I shower, and every single joint in my body hurts-even my elbows! I'll stop now to spare you the rest of the details (trust me, you don't want to know anymore). I had been thinking to myself how great my body is handling all this and then I really started thinking about it and realized...I'm a mess. I never thought I would ever be a mess but sure enough...things are changing and usually not for the better. Oh, and stop calling me drives me nuts. Apparently most people think pregnant women want to hear that they are small, well this one doesn't. I don't want to be told I look like an elephant either. Just say "you look great" and leave it at that.

3. The Advice...oh God the Advice
Apparently being pregnant means everybody and their uncle will give you advice...and I am so done. Vaccines, circumcision, sleep training methods (I'm talking to you cry it out vs. attachment parents!), breastfeeding, name it I've gotten advice about it. Now I'm always polite, or at least I think I try to be, and I will listen to your advice and say thank you. I may be arguing with you in my head, but smiling and nodding on the outside. I get that people only want to help by sharing what they believe, or what worked for them. However, it really grates on a persons' nerves sometimes. There are a few of those topics that I have strong feelings on and I highly doubt you will change my mind but I get people will always have something to say so I'll listen and then do what I want anyways.

4. The Hormones
I know this kind of goes with the body stuff but it's more of a mental thing sometimes than anything else. Plus, it's crazy enough to deserve a whole category.
Hormones are the devil. I'm convinced of it. They are like the wind: you can't see them, taste them, hear them or touch them but oh do you feel their wrath when they get going. I had a few little hormonal moments in my life pre-pregnancy and yes they were rather insane but I thought no way was I going to be one of those psychotic preggo ladies who throws a fit because they ran out of paper towels. I was wrong. Again. Men think we are crazy, but other women totally get it: hormones make you insane. I've gone through so many crazy emotions in the past 6 1/2 months I should probably be committed. I've cried over the stupidest stuff and sometimes I even cry and laugh at the same time, yeah...told you I'm nuts. I've had a few moments of darkness too, which are actually a little scary...totally normal but scary. Sometimes I'm unbelievably happy just because and sometimes I'm in an awful mood...just because. So If you have ever encountered one of my hormone alter egos, I apologize.

5. The Clothing
I've said it once and I'll say it again...I hate clothing. Granted my husband has no problem with this declaration, but he's really the only one. I never really cared too much about what I wore anyways. I'm not "trendy" of "fashionable" in any sense. I go for comfy over fashion, so my wardrobe consists mostly of jeans and t-shirts. When you get pregnant you need some different clothes. That I knew. That I could deal with. So I thought I would need to get a few new pairs of pants with the stretchy belly thing and a few tops with tie backs on them. I was wrong (anybody else sensing the pattern here?). I did get my pants with the stretchy thing and I got lots of different shirts. I have half a closet dedicated to just maternity wear...but I have nothing to wear. I spend an extra 15 to 20 minutes every morning trying stuff on to see how it fits that day. What fit last week won't work this week, and what fits this week won't fit next week. It's infuriating that I can't just go in to the closet, grab a shirt and throw on some pants. Nope. Doesn't happen. My pants won't stay up, my shirts bunch up, and we won't even go into the problems with my "intimates". The thing I am looking forward to most about not being pregnant: regular clothing.

I think that's enough whining for tonight, I feel a bit better getting some stuff off my chest. I really do try to limit my complaining but sometimes I just need to let it all out and tell the world: This sucks! Being pregnant can suck sometimes, I can't be happy about all of it. Sure it is absolutely all worth it to get my little boy in my arms and I'd do it again in a heartbeat but I won't deny that it's hard sometimes to keep the smile on my face about it all.

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