Wednesday, June 19, 2013
34 Weeks- I'm One Lucky Woman
Lucy is growing still but her growth is slowing down a little bit. Her height is most likely maxed out now but she is still putting on weight with roughly 2 pounds left to gain until birthday! She's smushed up against my ever thinning tummy and this makes it very easy to pick out what is a foot, or knee or shoulder. She likes to stretch out though and having her little feet lodged into my side and ribs is not exactly comfortable. Her favorite time to stretch is of course, when I am trying to get to sleep. Sleep is such a luxury now. If it isn't horrendous pain in my hips/pelvic joints keeping me awake it's her stretching, poking and prodding me. No amount of pillows seems to support all the spots that need it. Not that long to go though, then I can go back to my preferred position of sleeping on my stomach. I really, really miss sleeping on my stomach.
Things have been great around here, and I can only hope it lasts. Roxas is rambunctious as ever and always keeping me on my toes but we have so much fun together. I look at him and can't believe how much he has grown up in just a year. 15 little months have taken him from a helpless newborn to this crazy toddler running around, climbing on stuff and saying actual words. I actually looked at Kenny the other night and asked him "when did we become parents of a toddler?" What they say is so true, they grow up too fast. I long for the days where he would lazily sleep away in my arms or nap snuggled up on my chest. I guess it's a good thing but he's amazingly independent and wants to do as much as he can by himself. He still needs me for tons of things but I can already feel that sense of being needed starting to slip. He would much rather run around the house talking on his toy phone, or stack blocks than sit and snuggle with mommy. He's becoming such a big boy now and I'm so lucky to get to spend all this time with him.
I am a very lucky woman. On my bad days I can sulk and get really upset that I don't have certain things or our life isn't the exact way I want it. Lately though I've been trying to focus on the really good things and keep my thoughts turned positive. It's easy to get lost in the "we can't" or the "if only" thoughts. I realize though that I am so unbelievably blessed with this life of mine. My husband has been my biggest blessing. Without him I wouldn't have this life. He works so hard to give his family everything we need and he could totally tell me to get a job, that I can't stay home, that I have to contribute but he is just crazy enough to love me and sacrifice so much for us. Truthfully he gets the short end of the stick. I feel guiltily spoiled in all the good things I get to enjoy. I love being a mom (most of the time) and I love studying to become a nurse (at least 78% of the time). I work hard too, trust me not every day goes smoothly, but I really do see how lucky I am to have what I do.
Sure our lives before all these changes was great and I miss it. We weren't super rich or anything but I never worried too much about paying bills, we were able to live comfortably. We spontaneously went to movies, out to eat, bought crazy Disney collectibles, and spent time just enjoying each others company. Then we decided that we would have a baby, and I would leave my job to be a stay at home mom and go to nursing school. We lost my income and gained a huge expense. Seems like a really backwards idea now that I write it all out. We had faith though. I knew it was the right thing to do and even though this last year has had it's rough spots both financially and emotionally we have made it though all of them.
Another huge blessing is our parents. That independent part of me shudders at the thought of having to ask our parents for help when we are a grown family our on our own but when I put myself in their shoes I get it. No matter how old Roxas or Lucy gets. No matter if they are on their own, have a family, whatever I would do anything to help them and be happy about it. Our parents have been the best support we could ever ask for. Always willing to help us out, with whatever we need and without complaint. They are there for us whenever we need them and no matter how old you get, you will always need your parents.
Now with the arrival of our daughter looming in the very near future I can't think of a way that life could get any better. I know I won't feel this way when I've had 2 hours of sleep, haven't showered for a week, Roxas wants lunch and Lucy wants to nurse, but I know eventually I will miss those times. Eventually Lucy will be a little toddler running around being chased by her brother, and I will wonder what on Earth happened to my itty bitty babies that were just here. I will wonder when they grew up, I know I will blink and they will be teenagers with days of blocks and smooshed peas long gone. It's true, they grow up too fast. I'm lucky enough to be there for it and I intend to cherish it as much as I can while I have the chance.
We may not have everything in life but we do have some amazingly good things. For now Roxas is napping and I'm enjoying some quiet time with my cankles up. Life is good. Life is very good.
Until next time...