I've often been told of how different the first child is from subsequent children. A friend of ours calls it "the binky rule". This is how the binky rule breaks down: First baby drops the binky you throw it out and get a new one, or at the very least sterilize the thing in an autoclave. Second baby drops the binky you rinse it off with soap and water. Third baby drops the binky and you wipe it off on your shirt.
Pregnancy is no different. There are countless little blogs out there that highlight the differences in 1st vs. 2nd pregnancies and some of them I agree with, some of them I don't. Here are some of the top differences I've found so far.
1) The obsession
1st Pregnancy: I read every baby book they ever made. I obsessed over every baby development website. I had the baby's room done by about 8 weeks and the cradle was set up in our bedroom by 6 months. A whiteboard on our refrigerator boasts a countdown of days/weeks that is updated promptly every morning, and every week I drag out my camera and do a weekly picture.
2nd Pregnancy: I bust out the baby books when I type my blog posts, and occasionally look at the websites. I took a little longer to finish Lucy's room but it's still pretty much done, and our whiteboard is still counting down. The cradle is still sitting in my garage waiting to be assembled though.
2) The Attention
1st Pregnancy: Everybody and their dog seemed to be as excited as we were. I was bombarded by questions of how I was feeling, how the baby was, advice for when he arrived and tons of other questions. There were 80+ comments on the first ultrasound picture I put up, and excitement just oozed out of people.
2nd Pregnancy: *cricket*cricket*cricket* Lest you get the wrong idea, I actually enjoy the lack of advice and questions. I will admit it's a little disappointing at first because I was so used to a certain level of excitement from Roxas. We are just as excited and happy to have another little munchkin in the house and that's all that really matters.
3) Going Out
1st Pregnancy: Ok, I don't want to toot my own horn here but...I was a pretty cool pregnant lady the first time around. I would drive our friends to the bar, hop up there and enjoy my Dr. Pepper while the boys had their beer and then drive them home. We went out AAALLLLL the time (not always to bars) going to various dinners, lunches, movies, social gatherings etc. It was great. We were still free.
2nd Pregnancy: Go out? Ok...who is going to watch the kiddo? Do you think they'll watch him on such short notice? How long do you think we can reasonably expect the grandparents to put up with our galavanting? Hmmm...maybe you should just go, I'll stay home with Roxas.
4) The Timeline
1st Pregnancy: It dragged on and on and on and on. It seemed like I waited forever to get that cute baby bump. Every morning I scrutinized my abdomen for any changes. I longed for just some kind of symptom to signal the baby growing within. It wasn't until at least 30 weeks when I began getting uncomfortable.
2nd Pregnancy: My tummy began pooching out almost as soon as that second line showed up on the test. By 12 weeks if I wore a regular t-shirt there was a definite bump there. Now that I am rounding the last week until third trimester I'm waddling like a duck, huffing and puffing like a smoker, and just generally all over uncomfortable.
1st Pregnancy: I spent a ton of time rubbing my tummy, playing find the baby, and making video of his kicking antics. I would talk to my tummy, sing songs and read books all the time.
2nd Pregnancy: Ah, that's right...the baby. Well she gets to hear my terrible singing in the car...that's good enough right? If she gets going on a kicking spree I don't exactly have the luxury of stopping what I'm doing to record it. That's just life with a toddler around...you don't really have the luxury of stopping anything to do anything if it's related to yourself.
6) The "Plan"
1st Pregnancy: I had our hospital bag packed to the brim with stuff like music, candles, a massage tennis ball, and my trusty birth plan all typed out. None of these things saw the light of day. I think my birth plan is still in its little envelope tucked away in a front pocket.
2nd Pregnancy: No, I don't have the bag packed...yet...but I do have a list in my head of what it going in it. Birth plan? HA, that's what I have a husband for. No, this time I'm packing comfy PJs for myself, my pillow and that's about it.
7) The Stuff
1st Pregnancy: I spent A LOT of time surfing baby stuff websites and buying stuff that I knew I would really, really, really need. Yes honey the baby really does need three types of bouncers.
2nd Pregnancy: I still spend what time I can surfing the web for baby stuff but I've become unbelievably more practical, and thrifty. Sure there are a gazillion adorable little girly toys and accessories but I highly doubt any of that stuff would make it out of the closet. No this time my wish list looks a million times more practical. Although I do NEED that $300 double stroller...NEEEEEED.
The last difference really isn't a difference at all but a similarity:
8) The Love: There is no difference for the love I feel towards Lucy compared to the love I feel towards Roxas. Even though I am much more aware of the fact that I will spend my first several months as a new mommy very sleep-deprived and looking a bit like I could be on the set of the walking dead, I still love this little girl with all my heart. That will never change no matter how many children we have.