3 Weeks Old

Wow. Roxas is almost a month old. I can't believe how quickly time is going by and how much he is growing. We are settling into something resembling a routine now, which is nice. Sleep is still a rarity for me, but that is the sacrifice a dairy cow has to make. We have good nights and bad nights and in between nights too. Being a mom is a whole new experience for sure. It's definitely not all cutesy fun adorable baby time. I will admit I've reached some very low points that I'm not proud of but any mom who doesn't have moments of doubt or frustration is probably abnormal. The toughest parts are usually when I want to do something for myself but have to put him first. I'm not just talking about going to see a movie or something either. Simple things like taking a shower, eating, or brushing my teeth all get trumped when Roxas needs me. It would be so nice if babies came with a pause button.

I really do love being a mommy though. It's still amazing to me that I had this baby in my belly, then pushed him out of my body and now he is in my arms. When I was pregnant I kept saying it would all seem real when I had him, but even now sometimes it really hits me that we have a baby. There are times when I just stare at him still and marvel at this amazing creation and gift I have been given.

I recently celebrated my 22nd birthday and it is amazing all the things that can change in just a year. Last year I was out having a great time enjoying my new drinking privileges and this year I was loving on and taking care of my son. I never would have thought that would happen! I have been off work for 5 weeks and so far I am loving being at home with the little munchkin and I keep extending my maternity leave...it started at six weeks and now I think I'm up to 12. I love spending my days with Roxas, as tiring as it can be. I wouldn't trade this time with him for anything in the world because I know once this time is gone I can never get it back.

Well, Roxas is up from his nap so that is my cue to wrap up this post and until next time...

Our Crash Course in Parenthood- 2 Weeks Old

Roxas is 2 weeks old as of Monday. I cannot believe 2 weeks have already gone by so quickly. I am already seeing him change right before my eyes. These past weeks have been so unreal at times. They have been filled with just about every emotion you can imagine from overwhelming love and adoration for my son to frustration and fear.
I have had to adjust to his schedule, and I have learned that you do nothing just because you want to anymore. You plan around the baby and if he allows you to get something you want to get done then consider yourself lucky! I have enjoyed being a mom for sure but I have my moments, usually those moments are at 5am when Roxas hasn’t slept all night and I’m dead tired. Or when we leave the house and he screams bloody murder the whole time.
The past two weeks have been fun for the most part though. We can sit with him and just marvel at this perfect little life that we have been blessed with. It still astounds me that I have managed to keep a small human alive for two weeks, kind of crazy to stop and think about. I often spend several minutes just looking at him and taking in every bit of him that I can. I know he won’t be this small forever and someday he will leave us, which makes these moments even more precious to me.
He went to the doctor again on Monday and was circumcised. He handled it quite well considering the procedure but I nearly had a breakdown. I always thought they asked the parents to step out…I was wrong. It was tough to watch my little boy go through surgery but the doctor did a good job of numbing him and really he was more ticked off by the whole thing than hurting so that made me feel a little better. He is gaining weight and growing like a little weed. He now weighs 8lbs 10oz and he is 21inches long! He still isn’t quite as big as I was when I was born though! His little umbilical cord stump also came off at the doctors; well the doctor actually pulled it off since it was hanging by a thread. It was strange, when he plucked it right off there I felt a little sad. That was the last piece of the cord that once connected me and him, as gross as it looked and as much as I knew it needed to come off I still didn’t like seeing him just pull it off like a piece of lint. I know, cut the cord woman. Yes I kept it and it’s going into his baby book. What you expect something different from the weirdo who put her pregnancy test into her scrapbook?
So in our first two weeks of parents we have laughed, I’ve cried, and we have both fallen even more in love with our little boy. Even when he is making me crazy, I still love him more than anything on Earth. I have small moments of clarity where it really hits me that he is my son and I’m his mommy. I can’t wait to see how he grows and watch him develop and turn into a wonderful young man.