A sad day for humanity

      Many of you have heard about the horrifying, and terrible events that took place at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Conneticut. 20 small children and 6 adults were killed by a gunman who first shot and killed his mother, a kindergarten teacher, and began open fire on the students and faculty. The picture above I feel captures the feelings of this tragic day all too well. The pain and horror on this poor woman's face wrenches my heart.

     Robert Licata said his 6-year-old son was in class when the gunman burst in and shot the teacher.

"That's when my son grabbed a bunch of his friends and ran out the door," he told the Associated Press. "He was very brave."-NBC News

     This quote brings tears to my eyes as I think of how close this man came to losing his son, and how brave this little six year old boy was. I can't even imagine being six and seeing this unfold in front of me.

     I can even begin to fathom what this man was thinking when he committed this horrible act. To take the life of an innocent child is beyond any reach of my imagination. We have not been told if the man killed himself or if police killed him but I have a feeling he most likely turned the gun on himself. I will not venture into my opinions of this man, however I will say this: I truly hope he pays for what he has done.

     I have to say, I am incredibly proud of all the teachers who risked their lives, and some gave them, to protect their students. God bless you all, you are all heroes to me. In the panic and terror of the day they kept the children as safe as they could and did everything possible to ensure their safety. 

     They say you'll never quite understand something until you've been in that situation. It is true I will never be able to fathom or even come close to feeling what the mothers, fathers, grandparents, aunts, uncles and families of the victims will fell. However, now that I have Roxas my thoughts immediately turned to him and my imagination instantly brought up what it might be like to lose him.

     My imagination brought me to the future, sending him off to kindergarten and waiting for him to come home with a new Christmas craft and stories from the playground. Maybe I would be wrapping up a few last Christmas presents for him while he was in school. Then my world crumbles as I learn he will never come home.

     This. This is what I fear. This is a fraction of how those parents feel. Just this brief and dark flitter of a thought makes my heart feel as if it will rip in two. That is why I have said more prayers today than I can count and shed many tears for my heart feels this sadness. Almost as if I feel connected to every other parent out there. I hugged and kissed Roxas all day today and thanked God over and over for all I have.

    So, hug your loved ones and put aside your differences and be thankful for just having each other. It truly is a gift.

9 Months!

    
     Roxas is a whole nine months old. It really seems like time has gone so much faster with him "on the outside" than when I was pregnant with him. He is developing and growing like crazy. He loves to pull himself up on anything he can find. The coffee table, the dog food bin, the dog. He crawls at super speed now and I'm glad I started babyproofing the house. He has already tried to get into a few places he isn't allowed. I also have to get really good about closing doors because he wants to explore everywhere he can fit.
     He is 19.4lbs, and 29 3/4 in long! His head is also 19in around in case you wanted to know. He had his 9 month check up yesterday and did great. The doctor had to poke his finger for a quick hematocrit test and he didn't even acknowledge she did it! Although afterwards he did try to eat the band-aid on his finger. He is a happy and healthy baby boy according to the doctor.

He was facsinated by the paper on the table

He was playing the "drop the toy" game

     The doctor also did agree with supplementing Roxas with some formula since I am not able to provide enough milk for him. I am working to be OK with this sudden change in our relationship and it's not without difficulty. My only positive bit that I'm clinging to is at least he got breastmilk for the majority of his first year. I'll take whatever goal I can get. It's a lot to deal with, emotionally, for me but Roxas seems as if he is just fine with this new arrangement. He loves his solid foods too. He eats almost non-stop, much like his mother. Fruits and veggies are his favorites and he also loves any food I will give him off my plate. Yes, I've even given him french fries...at least they were unsalted. 

It's getting close to Christmas time, and that of course means I have to do cheezy and horrendously cliche holiday pictures with Roxas, right?

This outfit is one that has been worn by his daddy and all his uncle!

I just HAD to add this one, how cute is this sad little elf!?

     That's all for now, Roxas is doing so good and I'm enjoying spending more time with him now that I am on winter break from school. He's an amazing little boy and I am really blessed to have such a sweet baby.