Sleep. I miss you.

Lucy is high maintenance to the extreme and her sleeping habits are a glaring example of it.

Right now I'm sitting in bed holding a sleeping Lucy but I can't set her in the bassinet next to me because she will instantly start screaming. Sleeping with her next to me is out too, it's incredibly uncomfortable and I'm already sore from putting decorations away today.

It's frustrating not being able to just lay her down and catch some shut eye. I'm the only one awake in the house right now. I know a lot of people will advise the good old cry it out method. I won't be taking that advice though. Why? My instincts tell me not to.

With Roxas I was ok with the method. He would cry for maybe 15 minutes, if that and then he was out. It never sent my mommy senses tingling. Lucy on the other hand, oh boy. She will not stop crying. I'm sure eventually at some point she would become so exhausted that she would sleep but I don't ever want her to cry that long. She absolutely will cry for an hour or more.

My mommy instincts tell me to just keep holding/nursing her and it will eventually work out. They protest the idea of crying it out. It's a feeling I can't explain but just deep in the pit of my stomach I don't feel right about it.

So I may be a hippy dippy, cloth diapering, soap making, attachment type parent. I never thought I would be the person I am today, but I have to trust my instincts and hope they are more right than when I use them to pick lottery numbers.